New Food Arrives

World Terrorizing Force (WTF) has just announced its new plans for the world for next coming decades. One of the topics which the organization has covered and more to the people’s hearts in their talks yesterday was health plans.

‘New cases of illness have been on the rising in recent years,’ said WTF’s most terrorizing figure Ohmama.

‘New diseases like SARSi, Mad Mama Disease, Chicken Fever, Balls-Cock-Hair Disease have been on the wild. And we have realized that, it has always got something to do with the things we eat. Not even veggies are safe, as farmers sometimes overuse fertilizers and women get pregnant without any warning.’

‘Therefore, we have decided on a new source of food – Human.’

‘Humans make up a huge number on Earth, and it will be a significant milestone to start cannibalism. Imagine the good food you can have… human flesh bun, otherwise known as Ren Rou Cha Shao Bao, or can be used to cook curry.’

‘It does not matter if you cannot cook. There will be good meat on the market, that almost cannot be burnt!’

Happy National Day Xingapore! (Belated)

This is my Cant-ry...



This is my frag...



This is my future...



This is my life~~



This is my family~~



These are my friends..



We're Xingapore!!! Xingaporeans!!!

Happy Belated Bdae Xingapore!

Newstonight Quiz 1

Which hospital did the Clock go to to report sick?

Tan TOCK Seng Hospital.

Man? Woman?

After the hot debate of the gender of The Editor of newstonight.blogspot.com, some of the people has started to question the credibility of the news posted earlier.

Newstonight.blogspot.com would like to sincerely clarify that there is nothing wrong with the news available to the public.

'Its a matter of how you interprete it,' says the Editor.

'Doesn't matter because you cannot sue me for a single cent! Hahahaha!'

Editor Is a Man

The Editorial team of ABC newstonight.blogspot.com has gladly welcomed it leader, The Editor, back in their rank as a real man.

The Editor was caught in a series of events, therefore the lack of posts and therefore would like to apologize for the lack of news.

The Editor hereby promises to make a comeback with more news and postings.

Editor Is Back

Following a long break from the Editorial team of ABC newstonight.blogspot.com, the Editor has now returned fully to his past position.

But now this time as a female.

The Editor has shamelessly changed his sexual identity, chopping of his whatever and replacing it with whatever.

The Editorial team has welcomed him back with little respect since.

Huge Finding In Bukik Mitah Hill

A yellow creature, about 3 feet tall, was spotted in the forestation in Bukik Mitah hill last evening.

Mr. Kia Bo Lor said that he saw this yellow creature bounding amongst the trees around 3am in the morning during a mass orggy session and he gave chase.

Mr. Kia believes that the creature is the legendary Picachu, a lightning based Poker-mon.

Mr. Kia attempted to capture this once thought lost rare Poker-mon. The prey and predator thus sat down for a game of Poker.

Sadly, Mr. Kia's level was too low for Picachu, and Picachu used escape rope to escape to safety.

'I won’t give up,' says a determined Mr. Kia, 'gotta Poke them all!'

Scardy Returns to Safety

Scardy Sun has returned to Singapour after an extort scare in Ejeep.

She was supposed to head for Maiwan, but the plane anyhow 'wan' (turn) and reached Singapour instead.

Reports from Straights Times had concluded that she was too scared and did not dare to stay in Maiwan.

Recounting the scare back in Ejeep, she claimed that while she was posing for a shot near a pyramid, many hands broke out from the pyramid and grabbed her hands, legs, neck, breasts (but failed) and hair.

The next moment, mummies jumped out and held a knife at her throat.

'They demanded my make-up kit but I told them I use one whole make up kit per session. They looked at my faced and believed,' Sun revealed.

'The mummies finally let go of me and headed for a pyramid called 'Big Mummy House 2'.

Malaryus Unhappy with Chinese Year 2007

More than half of the Malaryu citizens in Singapour marched across Kallang this morning in protest of the 2007 Chinese New Year.

To be exact, they were unhappy about 2007 being the year of the pig, and that they refused to recognize the new year because it wan not Harllal. Though there was no damaged done to properties, tension was high as Bak Kua flew from HDB blocks and the Malaryus had a busy time dodging them.

The King of Gambler, Yan Fei, claimed that he scored a double kill when his Bak Kua hit 2 men, dissolving them instantly.

Protest leader Mohemmed Bin Bakkua said that the protest was a friendly request for people to remove the pig from the 12 animals that the Chinese used as a ‘mascot’ for each year.

2007 happened to be the year of the pig.

Most Chinese reacted strongly to the request, especially loansharks, saying that the pig is one of the most useful animals in the world.

1. Can be eaten
2. Impressive debut in movie Charlotte’s Web
3. Head of the pig is hung at the doorstep of people who cannot pay the loanshark in time. This is especially effective for trapping Melaryus in their house.
4. The most effective weapon that the Singapour Air Force has against the Malarsians – Airpork

Tais Unhappy With Singapour

Following the narrow defeat in the ASEAN (Another Stupid Ethics-Adding Necessity) Cup, the Tais have seemed to become more and more hostile towards Singapour. And the takeover of the Tai phone firm last year has added fuel to the fire.

Thai coup leader Sonka Bootyamama n said bluntly that he wanted the 3.8 billion telecommunications company back. He backed up his demands by claiming that the 1900s hotline calls were being monitored ever since the takeover.

"Our prostitution has a problem now. When we make a call, the line goes to Singapour. When we talk secret stuff to girls, they go straight to Singapour," Sonka told high school students, "what if Lee Ah Yew hears and cannot stand the stuff? He will die of excitement!"

“And how can you stand when someone eavesdrop on you talking secret stuffs to a girl? There’s simply no privacy!”