KBOK sued for Fraud

KBOK, Singapore’s famous chain karaoke get together venue for youngsters, has been sued for fraud yesterday in court. Almost 100 victims turned up yesterday to testify against KBOK, which seemed unlikely to get away without a fine.

According to their testimonies, these victims had been to different branches of KBOK’s karaoke lounge. And after their karaoke sessions, KBOK charged them for an additional head. “One head” referred to one person who had been in the lounge and using the facilities.

These victims were, on the other hand, rather sure that they had the exact number of people in the lounge, therefore arguing with the manager on duty. The latter would then show the victims the record of CCTV while they were using the lounge.

And to the surprise of the victims, there was a figure with long hair covering its face sitting right at the corner seat of the lounge. It was quietly sitting down at a corner of the lounge and never moved a single inch during their stay in the lounge. The victims were then forced to pay for this additional ‘head’ that was caught down on tape but was never seen by the lounge patrons.

This happened more and more frequently, until yesterday KBOK was brought to court and their license temporary suspended for fraudulent reasons. The verdict would be announced next year.

newstonight2 would like to advise all KTV goers to beware of any 'head' lingering around the KTV during their session.

Fei Li Competition

Newstonight will be organizing a Fei Li competition tonight along Orchut Road and Somerseted from 9pm onwards.

This competition requires participant to molest as many girls as possible. The score chart is as follows:

Breasts: +5 points
Private Parts: +10 points
Men’s Breasts: -20 points
Men’s Private Parts: -100 points
Caught by Police: Automatic Disqualification

Competition will end at 12am.

1st Prize: Ji Nai Shen Gong Manual
2nd Prize: 3-Day Free How-to-Molest Lesson with The Man from Banghala
3rd Prize: Shaddup Hussein’s personal underwear

Curse of The Golden Flower?

Another NSF was found dead this morning in his house this morning. This is the second case this month in which a NSF was found mysteriously dead.

This time, the deceased was found underneath a heap of iPOKs, believed to be around 5000 sets of them - iPOK Video.

Victim Demon Quek suffered broken ribs, rotten heart that resembles a wolf's and black lungs that resemble those of a dog's.



Police also found a notebook nearby.



And on one page...



Could this be the Curse of the Golden Flower?

Halal Pigs Will Bring Life to Market: Mat Hathir

Matlaysia has recently resorted to including a banned growth enhancers to feed their pigs in 30 Matlaysian pig farms, in a report by AVA (Anti-Vegetarian Association) Sinapore.


According to the report, the growth enchancer is used as medicine for patients suffering from asthma. It causes headaches, dizziness, breathing difficulties and can even be fatal for pigs which have taken the medicine.

But once the pig survives the medicine (which lasts 7 x 7 = 49 days), the "pig will become halal," says Mat Hathir.

The fourth Prime Minister of Matlaysia has said that this will bring forth a massive demand for Halal pork in Matlaysia, as well as other Muslim countries.

Sinapore AVA has announced that it will not be importing Halal Pork from Matlaysia, stating that its aim is to provide 100% pork to Sinaporeans and well as 100% pork Bak Gua for the upcoming Chinese New Year.

Joke of the Day

Qn: Why is it so that NS men always lose in track and field meetings?

Because the command given to run is: "Kekerisan", "Sedia", "Bang!" (gun bang).
The NS men will sedia himself on "Sedia" command... and..







"CONTACTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Good Reasons Not to Make Love This Christmas Season.

You better watch out, you better not cry
Better not pout, I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
He's making a list and checking it twice
Gonna find out who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake
Oh! You better watch out, you better not cry
Better not pout, I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town

Congratulations, Team.. erm.. Chinapura

Editor ABC Newstonight2 wishes to congratulate Chinapura for putting in their best performance in Asian Games, as well as sucessfully buying two medals in swimming and table tennis.

ABC Newstonight2 ePosting Order

Editor ABC Basic Management of Talking Crap (BMTC) congratulates and wishes you all the best in your future posting.

ABC Serial: A8699899C
Code Name: Foo Of Sheet

Your Posting Order is listed below:

1. You are posted to Your Own Home

2. Your vocation is Only Crap School (OCS)

3. Your are to report to: (Enter your own home address here)
Reporting Date/Time: 18/12/2006 at 0800 hrs.
Person to report to: Lin Lao Peh
Contact Number: (Enter your own home phone number here)
You are required to report in your smartest longest 4. Female recruits are to report in their smartest bra and G-string. (to impress the editor who will also be there for new intake orientation)

4. Special Instruction: No Camera Handphone is allowed. Report to (for the last time, enter your own address here) at 0800 hrs sharp, Report in the above mentioned set of uniform. ABC 12C is also required to be brought along. Other items (such as clothings for girls, etc) need not be brought along.

Note from the editor: Girls might want to bring along durex as it will not be provided by the editor. Expected release timing 0900 for male, 0910 for ugly female and 2030 lights off for pretty female.

Young Man Mysteriously Dead

Mr. Tan Kah Yong, a 20-year-old NSF, was found dead in his bedroom this morning with spaghetti coiled all around his neck.

His parents found him lying unconscious on the floor at about 8a.m.They sent him to Changi General Hospital immediately, but he was pronounced dead at 10a.m. sharp.

Tan is believed to be strangled to death by spaghetti, as no other injury could be found on him. Tan’s eyeballs were also replaced by golden flowers, which could not be removed from his body for further examination.

Police have classified this case under unnatural death and put the flower under custody as they believe it could be a lead.

Witnesses can call the police at 1900-112-8810. Calls are charged at 50 cents. Children under 18 need to seek parental consent.

Hot Deals! (Not gimmick!)

Tigeress Airways, subsidiary of Newstonight.co will be offering one-way-tickets to four Thai destinations from 1st July to 30th September next year at unbeatable low rates.

Each ticket is going to cost just two cents, excluding the taxes with 12,000 seats up for grabs during this period.

Passengers will get a chance to sit on specially trained tigresses as the latter runs through the wild plains as well as the causeway that links Matsia and Singapore.

That’s not all. These specially trained tigeresses’ will moan when you play with its backside, lick you and even give you a ‘love bite’. Passengers are guaranteed to be kept entertained throughout the whole journey.

Bookings open on Monday (11th Dec) and are on till Wednesday (13th Dec).
Tigeress Airways says this special ticket price is in celebration of the editor POP-ing from Boys to Men Tactical Course (BTMC).

The four destinations are to Bangkok, Hatyai, Krabi and Phuket.

Word from the editor: This is not a gimmick. Go check it out!

Incredible Tales 1

All Singaporean boys must go through National Service to become man.

Rifleman, Guardsman, Storeman, you name it. Not forgetting being a real man - grown up 'rifle with black camouflage all around'.

And man, including and especially woman, are creatures masked in thick camouflage, sometimes black-er than the black camouflage cream we have available in the stores. You can never see through a person.

So 'once upon a time', there was this particular new recruit, who would search his locker everyday after training. Whatever he was finding no one knew, simply because he himself did not know what he was looking for

This, would of course not be something a normal person would do.

In the end he was recommended to see a psychologist, whom later diagnosed the former with some mental illness which put him out of
National Service.

On the day he returned his 11B (another IC which NSmen exchange for with their pink IC and would hold on to during their NS life) for his pink IC, the company's officer was with him. This marked the end of his NS life. And upon receving the pink card, he held the card and said to his officer...

Sir, this is what I have been looking for.

Whatever Happened, Shohokuuu??

Dorhaa - Yao's Basketball Team beat Team Shohokuuu by nearly 400 points this morning, clinching the top place in their groupings.

At half time the score already stood at 199-0, while full time saw Shohokuu defeated 398-0. Man-of-the-match Yao claimed a total of 398 points, including 100 3-pointers and 49 slamdunks as well as collecting 1000 rebounds.

Yao's Basketball Team head coach, Yao, said that he was very happy with the results, and the effort put in by the team members, especially Yao.

"This is a night to remember! Who can beat a team that can score from the spectator stand!?"

Team Shohokuu on the other hand was already expecting defeat.



Can't see? Blame blogger.

Yao's Basketball Team will play Bu Yao's Basketball team tomorrow at Dorhaa's Dota Indoor Stadium.


Yao's Basketball Team Starting Lineup


Team Coach: YAO Ying
1. YAO Ming
2. YAO Zhuo Ai
3. YAO He Jiu
4. YAO Qian
5. YAO Nu Ren

Team Shohokuuu Starting Lineup

Team Coach: Old Man
1. Gorilla
2. Shorty
3. Gangster
4. Botak
5. Zzz Monster